My dad sometimes says "Life's tough, and then you die." On separate occasions, mimicking a classic Monty Python sketch involving a nun, I've often heard him squeak, "I'm not dead yet!" By the transitive property (if a=b and b=c, then a=c), I think he's on to something.
And I wholeheartedly agree - life's tough, but I'm not dead yet! Sometimes to prove that to myself, I need to just run. When things don't seem like they'll ever go my way and I'm using all of my energy to just fake it till I make it, especially on the days I have my girls, sitting on my couch and making excuses to skip my run are usually pretty tempting. And I'm definitely one who has a hard time resisting temptation. My three year old, in particular, tends to use up quite a bit of my energy stores with her constant "testing" of her boundaries and my accompanying continuous efforts to think of ways to turn each toddler vs. mom scenario into a lesson.
But today, my apartment seemed claustrophobic and I had a pressing need to get outside. I can usually talk myself out of a late afternoon or evening run with the stroller, since the smooth, steady motion tends to put to sleep the three-year-old who no longer naps. This is problematic if I care about getting her to sleep before midnight. Today I needed a change, though, and at 5pm she was still looking bright-eyed and bushy tailed. I was hopeful. To get her more excited about the run, I gave her the choice of leaving in ten minutes versus twenty minutes. She chose the latter, which gave me some extra time to get dressed and load up the stroller, so I asked her if she wanted to help me choose my running clothes. She was thrilled at the chance to help and chose my black workout pants and a pink tank top. (I couldn't have picked better, myself.) Finally, I asked her if she wanted to help load up the stroller and she jumped at the opportunity. We threw in her doll, a water bottle, my phone, and her baby sister, and were ready to head out. As a last minute thought, we decided to throw in the baby's new towel with a hood as I noticed the skies were turning a dark grey.
The Run:
Length: 2.93 miles
Time: 30 minutes (32 minutes total with 2 minutes of stopping time to get something for a kid)
We took a quick warm-up walk to the mailboxes to mail some thank you notes and bills. From there, it felt pretty easy to start up running. Usually I start my runs with the stroller somewhat slower, with a painful, choppy stride. My knees tend to hit the top of the back seat, so it usually takes some extra time to adjust and develop a gait that doesn't involve lifting my knees as high.
Today was different. Today, with my iPod already playing at a low volume in just one ear, and both girls yammering away, starting up seemed smooth and effortless. While I don't think the baby has a preference as to speed, my older daughter always waits impatiently for me to pick up the pace and start running. Today was no different and she let out a loud "Yay!! Are you running?" as I loped forward. I warned her that today might just be a slow and steady day. Of course she asked Why (as most three-year-olds do at every available opportunity) and I told her that today was just going to be a relaxed run. She seemed to be ok with that answer, so we moved along without any expectations.
I ran a modified version of the "run around the block" I usually follow if I have the stroller, or when I'm on my own and I can't muster up the creativity to plan a new route. This route usually traces the main roads near my apartment complex. We basically follow a big box and each time we make a turn, it usually marks a mile. Tonight, the sun wasn't quite close to setting, so I decided to take a bit of a shortcut along the Spring Creek Trail. I ran the "run around the block" a couple nights ago and I needed a change of scene. The run remained fairly uneventful and I just kept pushing slowly along, allowing myself to take the pace down a notch if I started to get a bit more winded than I wanted to. The time flew by as I listened comfortably to a relaxed playlist and did my best to answer all of the questions that flowed from the tiny voice in the front seat of the stroller.
Is it my turn, yet?
When I felt I had run a solid 3 miles or 30 minutes (I can rarely tell which one I hit first), I stopped the stroller and asked the munchkin if she wanted to get out and go on her own run. Of course she did. At this point, we were about a half mile away from home, and she took off running ahead of the stroller. I expected her to slow down or to stop and want to walk before we hit the crosswalk to cross the street to home. But she didn't slow down and rather than walking to cool down, I ended up throwing in a few more minutes of jogging, albeit it pretty slow jogging. She lately has to always be in front of me, regardless of whether or not we're walking or playing or jogging down the path next to our apartment, and I usually tell her that she's welcome to be ahead me as long as she's quick enough to hold me off. Tonight, I let her keep her lead and she squealed with giggles every time she heard the strolling getting a bit too close.As she awkwardly mimicked an endurance running, with arms and legs not quite in sync and elbows flailing, she called back to me to tell me she had her [imaginary] iPod in and she just got to a great song. I couldn't help but chuckle, until she started singing along to an imaginary song that she was making up as she ran, at which point I burst into laughter. Finally, after holding my hand across the cross walk, she slowed to a walk just before the path that leads to our door. She claimed it was time to walk because she was at the end of her run. It was just too much for me to handle and I immediately gushed that I just loved her. I got a non-chalant "Yeah."
Finally at our door, I bent down to start rooting for keys. When my daughter proudly exclaimed "I had a great run! I did a great job!" I realized that this is the reason I need to get up and go. This is the reason I take them with me. The two little people who stared up at me as I unlocked the door are the very reason I need to keep "faking it till I make it" on some days. And getting in my run, any kind of run, is the best way to do that.
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